we all eat our feeling and pretend we are on an emotional diet

Digital art 

50X70cm 

I Am Truly the Beast With In Me

little red riding hood went on a trip 

in that dark forest of fears and never touched tears 

I am not scared she said

while she walked through the black branches 

into the gates of shadows 

he grated behind

she turns to see the face of the so called demon 

broken black crystals in his eyes 

mirror her complection 

he looked at her with her green hazels chacity  

she plead 

with a thousand lies merged into his fur

can I touch you?

she asks so sweetly 

but silent he stays 

can I speak to you?

she requests once again 

but away he turns 

why won't you let me see you?

she cries 

one last time before she leaves him behind 

he looks at her with his black skies 

and says

one cannot easily see one's beast 

for your shadows are deeper than what your eyes can perceive 

she left finally out of that haze

and so she says

about that wolf from that day

I am truly the beast within me

this is how little red riding hood was nor little nor red anymore

digital art 

50x70cm

To Love Another

It doesn't matter if you know, I love you or I love you not. 

Me loving another is my rise, not your victory. 

The Observatory

the observatory in AUB- Beirut 

Water colour 

a3

*SOLD*

paradox and other questions

you are that feeling I get between sleep and awake 

that lovely blissful second of never-ending coolness equally balanced with warmth

traveling through my body to give me a moment of eternal peace

but still i question this life

Is it love? or is a terrible lie? 

I wonder so deeply trying to figure this paradox

Is it real?

Angels and Music

*SOLD*

water colour 

A3

Bloody Blue

Dear Mr. Johnny       
  
           Disconnected, unrelated to everything to everyone, As if I was never part of this world to a point that my body refuses to connect to my mind... I can't sketch I can't paint. My hands seem to fail in delivering my thoughts, it's like my brain has lost control of what once was such an easy advantage. I'm tired, I'm tired of saying I'm tired. I wish I could wake up one day so free of whatever holds me down right now. I haven't written something in over 2 years, I wonder if that has to do with losing you, I keep remembering you, your face, your smile, the way u loved me makes it so hard to forget, real love never dies, the more time passes the more I feel this is true, there is always that one guy u will never get over, my friend once said. But is this I'm feeling just a simple flashback from the past, or is it really the true meaning of love. If I were to count the times I think of you in a single day I would have lost count a long time ago.  
           
          Yes, I think of you everyday when I wake up I remember your sweet kiss on my shoulder that little soft kiss that use to travel all over my body and satisfy my senses in the most innocent way I can ever feel. And as I manage to start my day insisting to have a good one, to stay strong and maybe find a reason to be happy.. I think of you, of us. Everything I do reminds me of you even when I hold my paints I remember the time when we use to chase each other around with a full tube of paint threatening to wash the other, I smile, a memory so nice so free. Nothing was too much for us, no time was enough, those days were I spend hours holding your hand in class in secret and then going home not wanting to wash them cause I can still smell your scent in them.             
            
             I wanted u to stay with me all the time, I missed your presence every day since we split parts, my life is on hold waiting for you to come back and give it motion again, give it reason to live to smile to just simply be... But u still didn't come back... And my heart seems to hurt more and more from your distance. No love is ever gonna be like your love, I have tried to move on, to forget you, to fill my heart with someone else's presence, but it's like everyone else's love is entente to yours. You loved me! I know u did! I felt you with every time u looked at me I felt your love, there was this look in your face I'd know your looking at me, like the only girl in the world the only one for u, that look that disappeared the last time I saw you. The time we split ways, I cried so hard all night like a baby, I was a baby I was only 19, I cried so much I couldn't breathe anymore. I was just so sad, my heart ached, my eyes were very swollen I could barley see, but I could see how my sisters looked at me in so much sorrow, they couldn't help me. There is no medication for love ache, there is no cure. I had to deal with it on my own. step on my pain and carry myself like nothing has ever happened, I had to pretend that I was strong that I wasn't broken, and that I was mature. I told myself "u took the decision to be with him, now u need to suffer the consequence". As time passed I made myself turn numb, feeling less. I walked around thinking people shouldn’t see my heart break they should see me strongIn the weakness you find your strength… I'm still looking.

02.02.2014

from the girl who believed in love 


Bloody Blue
Digital art 
50x70 cm

The 1st Student Conference

So I was asked to do the logo and poster flyer and brochure design for the 

The 1st Student Conference 

in AUB 

and here is what I cooked up!

this logo was inspired from the 

the great leader of ancient literature 

here is the logo in colours

as for the posters, flyers and brochure

I was inspired to use pencil strokes as a continuation of the logo idea

Poster
Size A2

Flyers
Size A5

Brochure 

Size A5 closed A4 opened

thank you for taking the time to see my work 

Please comment below and share your opinions

I love to hear from you :)

One day I'll Forget

so one day I'll wake up and forget your face 

and maybe even forget your name 

one day I'll wake up with grace 

loving my place 

where no time goes to waste 

one day 

I'll wake up again

and there will live no haze

just doodling on paper 

A6 

Ink

Four Mothers and a Half

 

            “So, Basically you have four mothers,” she said while laughing. I looked at her confused over how true what she said was. I’ve never noticed how much my sisters mommy me un-intently! I grew up the youngest of four girls. With no brothers around, an absent dad, and a sick mother, my sisters found it necessary to maintain a very strong connection between us in other words we stuck together. Still we all grew up distant from our Druze culture. Instead we choose our own religions and decided to accept each other for who we are.

Jun. 2015, “There will always be obstacles in your way, no matter how smart or witty you are. People will always try to set you down, you just have to keep trying,” she said one last time, as it was time for her to leave. Standing at the airport again trying to hold my tears while I wave goodbye to Layal, as she sets foot on here new journey as a newly wed immigrating to Australia. A six-year difference between me and my sister but I would be lying if I said we haven’t fought like children. Pulling each other’s hair, wrestling every Saturday morning, arguing about fashion among plenty more all of which were part of our daily interaction. Yeah, she is a one sided, black and white lawyer and I’m a ball of paint! It was hard for us to understand each other. Still it didn’t matter. We are friends anyway. Plus she needs my fashion advice. That is why we Skype almost everyday.

Dec. 2014, “God will always be there for you, even when you don’t know it. God will protect you. He loves you.” she raises up the bible from her hand while telling me all about prayers and forgiveness. “I have found my God,” she continues as I see her smile widen in softness upon her very tired face. She’s a workaholic. Always staying up late in the office. Never taking a day off. It seemed that after her divorced things didn’t matter to her anymore, still she holds her values strongly. She made it a point to find reason. Finding that reason lead to discover forgiveness, which showed her the way to the bible as she describes. Still she says “I know things get hard and confusing in our house but, always remember that love can never have one form and forgiveness is the shortest way to heaven.” With a ten-year difference between Haifa, and I. she is always trying to teach me forgiveness. A kind-hearted person can only give you warmth. Even as she lives in Dubai I still feel her everyday. Her ideas of what love could be gives me hope, and shines my way to a nice future maybe on with glittering faces of people with golden hearts.

Feb. 2012, “I waited for the news all night long, it was 5 am when uncle final showed up at grandma’s house. It’s a girl he said she has big green eyes and very small mouth. And when I hear that I promised myself I will always protect you from harms way… the next day we all went to the hospital to meet you. You were so tinny; made all of our hearts grow” that’s how my eldest sister Zeina describes our first meeting. Even with our twelve-year difference, we were always friends. Spending a lot of time with her made me exhibit a lot of her trades, Stubbornness mainly also arts and huge passion for music. We are both graphic designers with colorful personalities and crazy minds. She is a very deep-rooted Islam, always reminding me of gratitude and fairness. Indeed we are both complementary and contracting individuals. Still we find the deepest ways to create love.

I know you are probably wondering about my actual mom, do not worry she still mommies me too. When I was born she was very sick and was not able to take care of me. I spent the first year and half of my life being watched over by my aunt Nana, She is the sweetest person alive, a single thirty-year-old lady, at the time, with a lot of love. Till this day she shares embarrassing pictures of me and talks about my tinny butt. While my mom constantly tries to catch up for the time lost through out my childhood and teenage years, a lot of conflicts are meant to take place, like her misunderstanding toward my artistic passion as well as my unwariness towards explaining my points of views to her. Still, we try to be involved in each other’s lives. Sometimes, She fixes me matte while I paint. Other times we go for sushi. Either way our mother daughter relationship is a work in progress. At this point we are friends. The more I get to know her the more I find myself to be a lot like her. Through her I have learned to express myself gradually and heal my wounds blissfully. I think we will have a very strong friendship in the future. Especial when she takes the time to teach me her crafting skills.

About two years ago my dad came back to live with us in Lebanon. For me the concept of a dad was an abstract one, it was not easy to understand him and adapt my life to his. Admitting that I never made it easy for him as well, we kept on limiting each other’s perception towards our relationship, until one day we finally figured it out. Our most significant trait turned out to be our only common point, art!

So yeah, that is my family, one Islamic sister one Christian and one Druze, a creative mom and a painter for a dad. Oh and a crazy over weight cat! Like all other families we have funny days and boring days but still we manage to keep things going. And as for myself, I am a one from all. I take a lot from my sisters and parents but still I am my own person. As the great words of dr. Seuss “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!”

Integrity

My clients from Integrity have taken on a new project 

with ETClb in their program #NERD16

related to educational projects with robots 

they asked me to create a new concept for their new direction

and here is what I came up with 

Its a tree!! 

to symbolise their new start 

and here is the rest of the integrations of the new concept

Facebook cover image

newsfeed image

website banner

links: 

http://www.etclb.com

http://www.integrity.me

Thank you for taking the time to see my work 

Please comment below and share your opinions

I love to hear from you :)

Lost In You

Digital art 

50X70 cm

The Grid

          Dotes… dotes everywhere. Growing up in a house with walls full of framed paintings of extreme doting, emotional outrageous expressions with artistic display of strongly contrasted colours.  They have been hung there since I can ever remember. Been told I’m the daughter of an artist. Yes, my father was indeed a painter but, something about being raised up away from him made all of them paintings just a part of the walls of my home.

            What is art? Trying to understand this historical dilemma is truly a journey. As legendary painters and sculptures debate this matter, I stand confused from the realistic impression of the renascence period to the very humble abstract paintings of my father. Majoring in Studio Arts was the only way to help myself realize what art really is. I was already a painter. I know how to paint. I though that knowledge was enough for me to be “the painter”. That couldn’t have been more wrong! After graduating from Techniquical School, I had my first BT degree in graphic design. I rushed into majoring in graphic design as well, thinking its my best option. My ability to paint was not important to me, my art was nothing worth exploring, graphics could offer me more ways to reach my goals, like having a high post job in a hard hitting international company or being a leader in the world of advertising. Despite that, I still was not satisfied. Within the world of graphics I found too much limitations.

         As a resilient graphic designer one should train his or her eye on the concept of grid design and its importance in anything being designed. Soon enough my obsession in the grid concept controlled my life and turned it into a systematic contemplation of my self. Time was running out of my hands, I didn’t even have the time to be me. There was no space in my mind to move away from the grid of thoughts that I, myself constructed in dedication to graphics. The grid was my approach to achieve self-control, which instantly turned into agonizing my own soul.

           Acceptance! I get an email stating my acceptance. I was overwhelmed! And even more surprised to be accepted into Studio Arts. Its not graphics! I thought. How could they think I would be better of as an artist? They don’t know how dedicated I am. I told my self I’m staying there till I can transfer back into graphics. First semester, I started with my art classes, still very overwhelmed, I remember telling my self: “I have to paint… they are making me paint”. Holding my brush after such a long time was very hard. Still it was more challenging to sketch. I watched as other students had no fears of errors and mistakes, they would dance and prance through their paintings as if they have no care in the world. Looking at them made me realize graphics limitations and its effect on me. My break through was when I final apprehended that I should break this grid and just let me be…

            The amount of fear between my brushes and me increased and I silently judged my work. Putting my self down all because I can’t hold my hand steady against an empty canvas. Nevertheless I finally understood that my fear is only because art is asking to be off the grid and into the freedom of naked expressions. So yeah I’m here to stay.