Maybe About You

she said it maybe about you

he said then tell me and I'll make myself see

and when she told him

he froze and didn't speak

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My first published article

Exclusive superpower: What it’s like to be dyslexic at AUB

Quickly, write your names on this paper and pass it around, said the teacher. I froze! I couldn’t remember how to spell my own family name. That exact name I’ve been writing everyday for the past 20 years was a complete mystery. For 10 seconds, I stared at the paper, wrote the first three letters, and stopped. It just didn’t look familiar; it seemed like I was writing it for the first time.

Yes, I’m a dyslexic AUB student, and no I’m not the only one!
Dyslexic students are students who have problems with reading, spelling and sometime pronunciation; they do not have a problem with seeing language, but with manipulating it. According to Kelli Sandman Hurley, Ph.D., people with Neurobiological variations such as dyslexia can be creative and inventive individuals. They are right brainers, which is responsible for holistic thoughts, creativity, music and arts.

Right brainers:

   “I need twice as much time as any other student to read a single text. I feel like I’m always trying to catch on my studies while everyone is comfortable with their time,” said a dyslexic student while remembering her first semester at AUB as a freshman. “That makes me feel insecure… bullying from students that think I’m not smart enough for AUB courses is not exactly what I expected to get out of my college experience.”

According to Sandman-Hurley, studies have shown that dyslexic students spend more time trying to decode one word, and that is why it is hard to keep up with their peers. They might see words or numbers in reverse or see the lines of the text blurry, wavy, and shaky. It is also common for them to spell words phonetically, such as writing ‘frens’ instead of ‘friends’. Some people might have mild dyslexia, while others might have a profound case of it.

Dr. Ouainy from the Alphabet Learning Center, in Verdun Lebanon, specialized with dyslexic cases shares his theory on the problem in the Lebanese culture.

“We don’t have a mother language,” he said. “Fousha (formal) Arabic is not our native language while, English or French are our second or third language.”

He explains that it is only normal to have difficulties in some areas of the language. Personally, as is the case with many others, I always feel the words are in my head, but I cannot seem to find a way to write them down. Add that to stress, and a limited time to finish an exam; their sum doesn’t exactly equate a decent grade.

“Dyslexic students should be exempted from spelling mistakes and given more time on assignments and tests generally,” said Dr. Ouainy. “But since each case is different, some students might require more exceptions.”

After a stressful two-hour test, I sat on a bench in front of West Hall, sleep deprived and exhausted. It’s only a midterm, I thought to myself, knowing I did not do well on that exam. Despite all the studying, I am almost sure it will not pay off.

It feels like I’m a different person when I’m being tested: I forget everything. I can almost give up, but I do not do so.

“Panic attacks and blackouts,” said the aforementioned student, “That is what I feel during exams, I also forget everything I know.”

After meeting up with FAS Student Services Officer Leila Knio, I was granted extra time to complete exams. A lot has changed since then: more time and understanding teachers have definitely made it all a bit less stressful and a lot more manageable.

Yet, I still wake up every day knowing that I have to work twice as hard as yesterday in order to keep up, not with the students around me, but with my personal expectations.

Divergent thinker: 

“I’m proud of being dyslexic. I don’t understand why students hide it or feel ashamed,” said AUB English Professor and creative writer Abir Ward.

In their book, “Understanding Dyslexia,” Jill Hammond and Fabian Hercules refer to dyslexic people as the divergent thinkers. Being dyslexic enhances the ability to make unexpected connections, in an attempt to better understand the words being processed by the mind, and also forces a stronger reliance on creativity, visualization, and three dimensional thinking. Uncovering a direct association between dyslexia and emotional intelligence makes dyslexic individuals great leaders and team players, because of their ability to understand, empathize, and connect with the people around them.

According to the University of New Hampshire Psychology Department, emotional intelligence is the “ability to validly reason with emotions and to use emotions to enhance thought”, and so it comes as no surprise knowing that some of the most famous and well-established people in the world are dyslexic:

• Scientists: Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison
• Actors and comedians:Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey
• Musicians: Cher, John Lennon
• Artists: Picasso
• Politics: Winston Churchill
• Law and justice: David Boies (Attorney), Erin Brockovich (Investigator), Jeffrey H. Gallet (Judge)
• Writers & Journalists: Richard Engel (NBC Foreign Correspondent), Agatha Christie (novelist)

Sometimes you have to lose something to gain something bigger. With the proper support and a nurturing environment, including an understanding community of teachers and students, dyslexia is made 100 times simpler. What’s troublesome is being judged for wrong pronunciation during presentations, or for misspelling the word “judged” in the first place, despite trying my hardest to fulfill my potential.

There is no shame in being dyslexic; it is comforting to know that you are enough of yourself to be yourself. I know my mind can see and feel things most other people don’t understand, but what’s the use of having that if we don’t learn how to accommodate it.

For those who mistake dyslexia for a handicap, those who think we are limited by preference of our own mind, and those who say we aren’t good enough, let me correct you and say that it is a superpower; it is our personal and exclusive superpower.

AUB news paper article